Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
