Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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