WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize