i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
