I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
