Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
