i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
