so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
