Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
