lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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