the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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