32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
