You can't motorboat a personality
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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