dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
