he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
