do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
