I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
