This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
