Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
that may or may not have been my penis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
