evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fuck appropriateness.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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