whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
