Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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