that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
