she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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