Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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