There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The Olympian is in my bed
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
