Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize