she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
