Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
