Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
