I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize