is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
