I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I currently don't understand fingers.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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