why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
