I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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