please come you make the beer taste better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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