Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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