I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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