My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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