Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
