I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
