Porn is love you can see.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
