i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
