Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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