I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is wine microwaveable?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
