she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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