I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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