she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
