Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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