he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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