Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
