He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
