Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
