Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize