I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
