does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How's work?
Spinning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
