Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
