you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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