I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just blew my weed a kiss
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
