he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
