airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
