i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
