Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
