i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
