So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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