You really coming over, don't trick.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
