she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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