If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
