well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everyone says I win the strip club
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